When I was probably
within my first 6 years of life, I enjoyed Ballet class. I bet you can imagine a
room with mirror lined walls, a dance floor and a banister. I was one of the girls
in tights and pink leotards with their hair in tight little buns.
Now that I
look back, I feel somewhat hypocritical. Because no matter how beautifully I paint my
past, I am grateful to the Lord that He steered me away from that. My Mom pointed
out that I spent a lot of the time of ballet class gazing adoringly at myself
in the mirror. Of course, I don’t remember
that, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
That’s probably exactly what happened. It’s perfectly natural for little
girls to be evil, but that’s not my point. My point is that my worst enemy is
and has always been either myself or the mirror.
If you happen
to observe my room, you might notice a distinct lack of mirrors. To me, mirrors
feed arrogance and breed contempt for yourself or for others. When I was a child, I adored myself in a mirror.
Now when I spend too much time looking in the mirror, I see all my ugly flaws and
faults of mine and I despise myself. It is really tempting sometimes to wish I
could swing a sledgehammer into our floor length mirror. The only time I find a
mirror useful is to fix something I do not usually see. People have asked me what my favorite Disney princess
is. I have thought up and told different answers to different people. But I relate
to Mulan because she struggles with her reflection. I still do not like my
reflection in the mirror, but I’ve learned to trust what God says about me instead
of trusting what my reflection says about me. I am honored to be who God says I am. I guess it
takes faith in the Lord to know who I truly am because I am the Lord’s; therefore,
I can only find my true identity in Christ Jesus our Lord.
